On the night he was betrayed

Their is a real claustrophobia to the accounts of Christ's last evening with his disciples, especially in John.  The atmosphere is tense, the air thick with confusion and palpable dread.  Jesus himself is not immune from the latter, as witnessed in the garden of Gethsemane.

The words of institution, as recorded by Paul, recall that evening.  It was "the night he was betrayed".  I doubt there is anything more painful to a human being than betrayal, but this betrayal was more than that: it was the repetition in the middle of history of the event that marked and marred the beginning of it.  "For this revolt of thine, methinks, is like/Another fall of man" (Henry V).  Because of course the fall was not just a fall but a betrayal: of sacred trust, of a divine king, of a loving creator.  And the action of Judas was just the same.  Yes, Jesus went willingly to the cross.  But nevertheless, he was betrayed.

Some questions for this evening:

What made Judas different to the other disciples, humanly speaking?  Was he much worse than the others?  Was he worse than Peter - who pled the cause of Satan himself (Mark 8)?

After his betrayal of Christ, and before his suicide, what made Judas different to Peter?  Hadn't they both in greater and lesser ways betrayed him?

What makes me different to Judas?  Haven't I betrayed him a thousand times?

The only difference is grace.