So, this is it.
I am not sure, now, exactly what we were expecting. Some sort of new beginning, I suppose. It always felt like a new beginning, to me at least, whenever he spoke. There was something fresh about it, as if I was listening to a voice that wasn't touched or tinged by all the dirt of centuries of human language. But then again, sometimes I thought it was an old voice - sometimes, perhaps, it felt more like days of old than a new beginning. Like Elijah, or one of them; those men who spoke so fearlessly to kings and thundered the word of God to Israel. Except when they came for Elijah, he burned them with fire from heaven. I cannot hear from anyone that our Teacher put up any fight, or spoke to the governor with any words of power. It would have been different in the olden days. They had fire back then.
We had fire, for a little while. We were hot with it. But now he is cold in the grave, and we have gone cold with him.
I don't suppose there is any point in hanging around. Somehow we all gathered together, afterwards, but it was more out of fear than anything else. Not sure what we would have done if they had come for us. Probably nothing. The fire has gone out of us. We huddled together as if we could maybe - just maybe - feel the last warmth of the dying embers. But now I think even that has gone. There will be no farewells, I think. We are embarrassed in each other's company. In truth, I do not know these people. They are not the same people we walked in with, just a week ago. I dare not look them in the eye; thankfully, they avoid my gaze as carefully as I avoid theirs.
No, we will just slip away, as I suppose every one else will in time, when the truth sinks in, and they see that it is ended once for all. The world didn't change as we thought it might, and now it's time for us to get back to the world. Let the dreams die. At least there will be no packing; he called us to follow him with nothing, and now nothing is all we have with us. For today, the empty Sabbath, the restless rest. Tomorrow we will slip away.
It's a long walk back to Emmaus.
Thanks, Dan - praise God for the gifts you're using for him; that's very well written and captures it well. Love how you've picked up on their fire/burning wording. My good husband is preaching on road to Emmaus tomorrow morning, and thinking very much along those lines - our 'if only's, our disappointment, and the risen Christ.
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